Summer stresses...

I just got a new laptop. I am a rookie on it. My mother in law got it for me for business. I am susposed to have it to help out w/the business. I am going to have the phones for the business switched to my house this week while they are gone. I am not ready for this. It's the kids first week home from school and I really want to enjoy them. But it should help Donnie out. So pray for me and my anxiety level.

To add to my stress level both Corrin and Connor are playing ball. To help things out they both have their games at different places and often time towns at the same exact times. And to further complicate things Kolette has Ballet tomorrow at the time I need to take the kids to games. So the juggling begins. How do you split yourself. Not to mention Donnies schedule is way busier b/c his dad is gone.

So I am going to rely on friends to help out with the kids. Corrin already doesn't like Softball but i have said she has to finish it out. Connor LOVES it or at least after one practice he says he does. So we will see. Now Corrin won't give it her all if she isn't interested Connor on the other hand puts his heart out there. So I am excited to see him play tomorrow.

The chaos continues...

Painted ladies

Yesterday while I went to the YMCA w/Corrin's class; Connor's class had the 1st grade circus. I felt so torn but since I missed Corrin's field trip to go to the zoo w/Connor this was how I had to work this one.

Connor was a clown which is so perfect for his quirky personality. I got to watch the practice last friday and my brother taped it. Although he could have benefited from a tripod. I feel dizzy.

Connor told me tonite that 2 girls from his class were "Painted Ladies". I giggled and told him I don't think so. He insisted but I told him no they had to be s/thing else. They had make up on and were tightrope walkers.

Silly boy!

Pinks at the dragstrip

Has anyone ever heard of the show "Pinks" or "Pinks All Out"? Well if you haven't it is dragracing. On Pinks they race and whoever wins the most gets the other persons car. I think that is stupid. Anyhow on Pinks All Out they race for money and keep their car. I can understand that alot more. The guy on the show Rich Christiansen was there this weekend. It is called Armdrop racing. They don't use lights you just have to watch his arms and go.

Anyhow Donnie is a huge car guy and loves to go to the dragstrip a couple times a year but we ususally only go once. Not to mention I am not that much fun to take b/c I HATE all the heat from just being on asphalt and it gets HOT! Yes I am a whiner. So anyhow it took some cajoling on Donnie's part to get me to go. Corrin stayed w/a friend but the kids, Donnie, my brother and I went. Connor was so excited b/c he was watched and asked lots of questions whenever Donnie has it on.

I took the kids to get the guys autograph and Connor talked me into a hat and Kolette just HAD to have a pink shirt. He even autographed their shirts. This guy is SOOOOO nice. Anyway I got a picture of the kids w/him minus Ian since that wasn't going to happen. Connor wants to show his hat that he says gives him good luck when riding his bike to school and a copy of the picture. I even have to admit w/the shade Donnie brought and the joy of the kids made it worth it for me. Shhh... don't tell Donnie.

Happy Memorial Day!

This Memorial Day I am thankful that my father in law who served in Vietnam served his country. I am also thankful for my brother Mac who also has served his country in Iraq twice. I am proud of the sacrifice they both have made for me and all of our country. These are men that don't brag about what they have done. They just have been willing. There are many who have gone to serve that have not come back. Some of them friends of my brother or father in law. I can't begin to understand the things they have seen or had to go thru. But I am thankful just the same. In a time where we are encouraged to think of ourselves and be politically correct I am just wanting to pay my respects to those that think of others and put their lives on the line even for those who don't support them. God Bless America! Land of the Free because of the Brave!!!

Blood test in.

So today is the day. I call the doctors office to find out what they found out. Uh... nothing! Well, they said that she did have strep. Duh! But everything else turned up negative. So... what does that mean for her fevers and her oxygen being so low. When she was a baby her oxygen was always at 92% and it ended up being a VERY bad thing.

So the nurse told me that basically it is like what the doctor said and it is a inflammatory problem that is affecting her lungs a.k.a. asthma. Seriously? I don't get what a fever has to do w/asthma. I comprehend what he tells me but I don't get it. Why when we have had such a great winter does the child pick the beginning of summer to get a "asthma" issue? They don't want to label her w/"asthma" b/c you can never take that back. Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!

So I didn't get the answer I wanted. Not that I knew what I wanted. I just wanted an explanation of why she is having the problems she is having. This doesn't make me feel totally sure of where we go from here. So we continue on w/our "Mystery Girl". One can never say life w/Kolette is predictable or boring. Never!

The waiting results/verdict

Well after spending all day but 2 hours of it at the doctors office I am tired. Took Kolette in yesterday and she for once still had the fever in the morn. Dr. Matt listened to her and said that she had crackles in her lungs on the left side which is the side that collasped in the past. So he wanted an x-ray. She clearly wasn't feeling good since she slept everywhere we were yesterday. We go to the hospital to get the x-ray and back to the doctors office to wait some more. Her oxygen was at 92% and it is susposed to be 96-100 to be normal and in the hospital they turn the oxygen off at 94%. Sooooooo... we wait some more. They said that she has adelectis(sp?) which she always has. It is pockets of fluid in the lungs and usually that means pneumonia. But in her case she gets this when sick so who knows what it means this time. So they do a blood draw. Ouch! Poor baby they put numbing stuff on it and the crazy girl watched the needle go in so that wasn't a good idea. I have found that I am not so nice anymore after all we have been thru w/her. I am not in the mood to explain her situation to anyone that doesn't already know her at the doctors office. It is not a social call and I only want to talk to Dr. Matt and his fabulous nurse Becca. So although I am nice I am guarded.

So anyhow after a urinalisis we go home to wait for a call from the doctor. We are only home for an hour and a half. Then Becca calls back says that there are elevated levels of white blood cells and that she needs Roseffin(sp?) and we need to come back. Roseffin is an intravenous antibiotic. So more poking. It took 3 separate pokes before they finally got the I.V. in. Then they did a strep swab. Shockingly to me it was positive. But as Matt said it is like when she got an ear infection at the same time as pneumonia we push the ear infection aside and deal w/the pneumonia. So we will still treat the strep but the lung part is probably a reaction w/her asthma. We have to wait until friday to see what the blood cultures tell us. She still has the I.V. in so incase the fever didn't go away they can give her more Roseffin. The fever is mostly gone so hopefully today we will get it out.

I tell you she is a bear when sick. I can't say I blame her she has been poked enough in her life and she fights it hard. She does say that her lungs and her throat hurt still. So I guess we will wait and see what is causing the problem. The asthma part is related to the fevers she has been having. So I am hoping for a diagnosis but am a wee bit afraid of what it could be. I just need to remember that God is in control and I am just here to make sure I do all I can for her.

Frustrated!

Why does Kolette continue to make me question? After the rough first year of her life it seemed like it has been pretty good. We haven't had to go the E.R since Sept and haven't been hospitalized since last January. So why is she having freak fevers at night all the time now? For the past year it has been about once a month that she gets a fever at night and then is totally gone in the morn. I don't keep her from doing things just b/c she had a fever at night b/c she would never get to do anything.

Now she has a fever again of 103.6 and it is at least the 10th in the past 3 weeks. So I broke down and called the on call doctor. I cringe when I call b/c I don't want to talk to very many about it other than Dr. Matt and Dr. Dunbrasky who is who called me tonite. So in a way I feel like I am getting an answer and also it scares me. She said that we need to get a blood work up on her. But it would be better to get it while she has the fever. Ok, but she only gets them at night. She said she didn't want me to go to the ER but that I need to bring her in tomorrow and they will do one and also give me a note to take to the ER next time she gets a fever and I won't have to see the ER doctor and just get the blood work up done. She also asked if she had ever had a rhumatoid work up? Uh no. So she said that might be a good idea b/c it can tell if it is lupus since that shows up as a fever sometimes. That makes me want to cry. One of my good friends has s/thing related to Lupus and I understand how horrible it is for her. So I am trying to not borrow trouble. But she is my baby and I don't want her to be sick or suffer any lifelong illness. Can't I just take it on and leave her alone. Ok, I know I am getting ahead of myself but really it is scary to have a child you love more than life itself sick and know you have no control over getting them better. I know what she looks like on the edge of death and it was the worst thing to ever happen in my life. I pray that whatever it is that is causing her problem can be fixed. I pray that God allows the doctors to see what is causing the fevers. I pray that she is ok. Please pray for her too.

Changing my ways a little bit at a time

For those who have known me for a little while you remember the obsessive scheduling person not so much fly by the seat of your pants kinda gal. Well I am glad that God has a sense of humor. I think as I was raising Corrin and even Connor when they were younger He thought it was a bit funny how I micro managed everything in their little lives. Naps were at a specific time, dinner on time, clothes were folded and actually put away the same day. Ect... Anyhow to throw things off a bit He gave me Ian who marches to his own drum but yet still manageable w/my schedule. But for just fun and games I think I got Kolette. She does things only when she wants to and the house is always in disarray. Currently all children are in their rooms making them appear to be tidy.

But I am so thankful for the shaking up I have in my life from time to time. Kids in school means friends and I LOVE to have their friends over. I am also learning to share my children and that is HUGE for me. The shift in my life has been gradual but I LOVE it! I am glad that I have been handed the children that God has allowed me to raise. I am glad for the children that are my kids friends to get to love on them from time to time. I am thankful for great friends who are there when I need them. I am thankful for a husband that thinks it is important for me to stay home and raise our children. I guess I am thankful for the life I have been handed.

I still try to desperatly hold onto my controlling ways and sometimes it works in my favor. I still want to obsess over what teachers they have, what doctor they see and who they hang around with. But as far as keeping to my schedule it's not that important anymore. Flying by the seat of my pants has opened alot more doors for me and my family. It allows us more fun as a family and more time w/friends b/c the clock isn't all that important.

Hope all of you have a wonderful day full of suprises I know I will!

Taking Kolette to the Obgyn...hmmm...

Yesterday was my yearly appointment. I don't mind going b/c I love my doctor and his nurse and quite a few other people there. So it is like old home week. The morn didn't start off so good though. I was painting my toes on the edge of the bathtub b/c a girl must have pretty toenails when going to get a Pap. I told Kolette to not come any closer and that translated to please come closer and spill my red nailpolish into the tub. Amazingly enough after wiping, nail polish remover and a ton of soft scrub w/bleach it came out. Yeah!!!! Of course my toes look quite childish after going to get a pedi a few weeks ago. Oh well...

So I decided since Ian was w/Donnie I would just take Kolette w/me. Really what could the harm be in that? Stupid question. Anyhow I was susposed to be there by 1 but didn't even get out till 3 b/c of the doctor being in surgery. So Kolette asked tons of questions in her not so quiet voice in the waiting room. One of them being "How old was I when I was born?" Of course the older gal next to us thought it was funny.

Then we go into the room and I get to put on the beautiful gown that opens in the front and listen to multiple questions of why I am doing that. None of my answers satisfied her. I told her that when you are a grown lady you have to come in and make sure everything is working good. Her obsession w/wanting boobs of her own caused even more questions. She now understands exactly WHERE babies come out. Oops! What was I thinking again thinking this would be so easy. Oh, I remember I used to take Corrin all the time when she was little and she never asked me anything. When will I understand that Corrin and Kolette only have DNA in common and it stops there?

Of course I had originally asked my single brother to watch the younger kids while I went. He thought my saying it was a girly appt was a cover for I am pregnant. I told him that I am not but apparantly he doesn't believe me. He went to the school to get the older kids and said s/thing to my friend who had to set him straight. I don't think he even believed her b/c I get home and he asked when I am due. Ahhh... now people who might have overheard him will mistake my tummy that needs more sit ups for s/thing else. Oh well it adds a little mystery to life.

So the conclusion is will I be stupid enough to take her next year too? Time will tell if my brain is on freeze that day or not.

Injuries abound

Just a quick one. But I think my older two need to stop using their faces to catch things or as a cushion. Monday during ballet for Kolette Connor was at the coffee place playing Uno and he was running back from the bathroom. Now his dad tells me what happened since I was at ballet. But he heard Connor running and then thump. Instant gooseegg but not as big as the last one. It was also in the center of his head so only the right side of his head hasn't been injured in the past month.

Last night Kolette wandered into our bedroom right into the partly closed door and I woke to the WHOP of her head or foot. She didn't even seem phased just said "I think I don't feel good". Yet another night of her having a high fever at night and then great in the morn. I think this is the 8th in 3 weeks. I think I should have named her Mystery instead.

Tonite Corrin had softball practice. Since it was just across the park from my house and I went to school w/her coaches I let her go over w/her friend by herself. I sat outside and could see some from a distance. All the sudden a friend who's daughter is on the team came up quickly telling me to get in her car and that Corrin is hurt. I am wondering what kind of injury you get from softball but broken arm was on the top of my list. So we get there and she got a ball to her upper lip. As soon as she looked at me and my not so poker face she started to cry again. Lyndia took us back home and she stayed w/my other kids and I took Corrin to the doc in town. I by the way don't handle blood AT ALL well. Give me any illness but blood is scary to me coz it is so much and you can't see the injury. Anyway it is all good. But her friend said the girl who threw the ball didn't let Corrin know she was throwing it and didn't need to throw it. So I am hoping it will be a good softball season. Why can't we just play soccer in the summer?

Future blackmail

This is too cute to resist. But in case he tries to be a onry teenager I have proper blackmail. Not to mention I got a full shot also. It doesn't show anything but decided not to post that one. But every night around 11pm he gets up and stumbles to the bathroom. However he is not ready to be awake so that is why he sits. I do need to thank him for that. Anyhow I have to wake him up 90% of the time to get him to go back to bed. He will even turn the water on to wash his hands and I watched him rub them together b/c he didn't realize that he hadn't put soap on them. At least he has a soft place to rest his head. Hehehe...

Connor's Flying Pie Party

Uncle Mac-Pimp guy, Me-Dreadlock Jamacian Mon, Kolette-Pink Flamingo(shocking right?), Ian-Moose, Corrin-Robin Hood, Connor-Lepruchan/Pizza, Giles-A Viking and Maya-Parisian(it so fit w/her outfit)

The kids and Buddy the Pizza guy

Connor had his birthday party on Saturday. His best friend was gone on his actual b-day so we waited a week. We didn't tell him where it was going to be just that is was in Boise. Anyhow we allowed him to have one friend and Corrin invited his sister w/Connor's permission. We took him to Flying Pie Pizza in Boise. They let you make your own pizza and we wore crazy hats. Connor was SO excited when we told him he got to make his own pizza. It was great!!! They got to name their pizza's too. Connor and Giles named theirs "360 Pizza". I have no idea why but they were throughly impressed w/themselves. I even wore dreadlocks mon!!!

My awesome Guitar Cake

Ok, clearly what you upload first doesn't show up first. Grr... Anyhow I thought this was funny Ian put this clown costume on and happens to have the whoopie cushion in his hand. He may seem quiet and shy but he has the most mischievious side of all the kids. Watch out kindergarten!

Connor even went and found his pick for the picture. I had to make it green since that is his favorite color. He loved it so that is all that mattered.

Time passing by

It is amazing how time goes by. It seems like you are never going to be done changing diapers and next thing you know they are ready for school. I am not ready for that. Where is my slow button? I am trying to honestly not cry right now. Why do you think it is so hard for me when I have already sent 2 kids to school. I LOVE being a stay at home mom and all that it brings. Even the days when I am amazed that my house is still standing and that there is a single hair left in my head. They are all worth it!

I took my little boy to kindergarten round up today. He held my hand the entire way. We got in a long line and waited. And just like that they took him away. Why am I crying right now? He is only 5 and I have done this before but it just seems so hard. He loved it and is ready for school to start right now.

I guess I am having a hard time b/c I know how short life can be. I have a dear friend who is going thru that right now all the little things go by so fast and you never know how long you have on this earth or how long you will have with your children. I never intended to make this a sad post but just watching the pain she goes thru daily I am learning to cherish the little things even more. I am going to cherish all the days until school and hope I won't forget a one.

Reading who would have thought?

This morning Corrin wanted to get up early b/c she wanted to read her book. Connor also wanted to read his book. Strange for them. Anyhow I convinced Corrin on Saturday at the Library to try a book I read as a child. Beezus and Ramona by Beverly Cleary. It was so cute to see her w/a book in her hands everywhere this weekend. She is mad the library was closed today she has to wait till tomorrow. Connor got 3 Dr. Seuss books for his b-day and he wanted to read his this morn. I love it! The joy of learning makes it all worth the long days away at school almost. I still love them home more!

Tomorrow is Kindergarten round-up and I am trying to convince myself it will be ok. I have Ian ready but I want to cry at the thought of it. I HATE my kids being away. I told him he needs to show the teachers that he knows things so he will have to actually talk to them. My gift of gab hasn't worn off yet on that boy. I am still dreading it but hope he enjoys it.

Whoopsie cushion

Yes, I had a brain fart. I thought for Connor's birthday my little prankster would love to have a Whoopie cushion. So I got it in his favorite color-green. It has been a huge hit. However I think Ian thinks it is his. He calls it a Whoopsie cushion and I think that works too. However Donnie's not such a fan of it coming to the table. I know it is also bad manners but I do understand that it makes much better noise off the hard chairs than anywhere else in the house. It is fun to see them come up w/different ideas of how to use it. I have no idea where their mischievous streak comes from. Must be the milk man...

Happy Birthday Connor!!!!

My wonderful boy is 7 today. Seems like just yesterday I was so excited to hear we were going to have him. For those of you who don't know how hard it was for me in the beginning to get pregnant. Connor is my miracle boy. We had to do fertility drugs and Artificial insemination to get him. He was actually a twin. We were thrilled! How perfect. We waited till our first ultrasound before we told anyone. I was still nervous since I had had a miscarriage between him and Corrin. But we told and at our 11 wk ultrasound the other baby had died. It was such a weird feeling to lose a baby while still being pregnant w/one. I was a wreck for the majority of my pregnancy. But from the moment he was in my arms it was such a great joy to see his perfect body. Love at first sight. From the very second I knew he was growing inside of me till this day I have been so very thankful. These are in backwards order and I will have to post another pic that is from this year but it wouldn't allow me to post more than these. This is a picture of my sweet boy a year ago. Funny thing is Connor really hasn't changed much in his face.

Peeing w/his brother how better to bond?

Believe it or not he had just kissed her before this was taken. He really does love babies and it was Kolette he had decided she needed a hat like him. What a boy!

He is 2 in this picture and that is fat baby Ian in the pouch. Now can I figure out how to get that match to light in the wind.

A year and a half in this one. He picked me flowers at a soccer game. Isn't he adoreable?

Life w/Connor is never dull that is for sure. He is sweet, onry, kind, mischievious, loyal the list goes on. But just yesterday Corrin got sick and he went up to her room and got as many of her stuffed animals as he could carry and brought them down for her. Then asked what else he could do for her. Today at school his best friend was gone so he saved a blue cupcake for him and told the other kids they couldn't have it since it was for Giles. He has a very big heart for a little body. He Loves w/all he has and I am thankful that he loves me and that I get the coveted title of Mom. Thank you God for letting me raise this wonderful boy!