Dealing w/loss

This has been a hard week. We lost a dear friend and cousin this week. Losing s/one you love is hard all on it's own that's for sure. But when that person dies b/c someone else decided to end their life is a whole different ball game. For me it is so hard to understand why this would happen. I don't understand mental illness at all. I think it is so confusing. But the hardest thing is explaining this to my children. I tried so hard to not give many details other than she died. But she is a teacher in our school as well as related to us. So unfortunately kids talk. So Corrin now has the details of it all. She doesn't understand but says she does. Connor my very sensitive boy just bawled. How do you help a child understand s/thing you don't get yourself? I tried to tell him that she just passed away but when all the details started to leak out at school I had to say more. I have told him that her husband was sick in his brain and that he made a bad decision and that is why she died. I told him she is with Jesus and holding her son that died as a baby. But it sounds so empty. I don't want him to have to deal w/this or any of my kids either.

Ian's teacher is the only one out of all my kids who's teachers who told them anything about her dying. She didn't say details and knowing and loving her I know she handled it very well. She was very close w/Janet. Ian called her Matt's mom which was a title she loved. She was a very wonderful lady and teacher. Ian is young so it is different watching him deal w/it. But she always said hi to him everytime we passed her class for the past 5 years and we have spent time at their house. It will definately take time to adjust.

I just hope everyone can pray for the family, friends and the entire community b/c this affects so many. The funeral is set for Sat and hopefully from there people can start to heal but i think it will take a very long time. Rest in Peace Janet. We loved you.